I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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