there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
