Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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