Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
