I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
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I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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