We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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