I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize