It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
