just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
