I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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