I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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