marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
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