Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
