I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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