i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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