hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
