You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
