JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize