You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
