walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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