maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
