It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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