Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
