we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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