Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
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