I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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