i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
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Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
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Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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