Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
