Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
