Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize