remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
