why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
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I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
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I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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