i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
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i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
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Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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