I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
