We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Are we still banned from the library?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
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