fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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