well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize