So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
what is it with giant penises always finding me
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
