I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
