First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
