Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
