And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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