i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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