I think scott just propositioned me for sex
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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