You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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