so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
