i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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