What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
