You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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