This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
