Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize