We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
