Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
