i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize