I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
