im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
