now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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