Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize