Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
