Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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