is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
