He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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