hell yes lets make some ravioli
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
